


fur in her teeth and regret on her tongue

by jaggedwolf



Category: The Strange Case of Starship Iris (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Consensual Blood Drinking, Established Arkady/Sana, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaggedwolf/pseuds/jaggedwolf
Summary: Taken captive by an IGR lab interested in experimenting on vampires, Violet doesn't expect to be rescued by recent werewolf allies Arkady and Sana. Nor does she expect what Sana offers next.
Relationships: Violet Liu/Arkady Patel/Sana Tripathi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	fur in her teeth and regret on her tongue

**Author's Note:**

> According to the first vignette, it's Violet's birthday. Happy birthday to the bravest biologist-turned-smuggler-turned-insurgent around! :D

On the ninth day of Violet’s captivity, she kept her eyes closed. Not to sleep. Several factors made sleep a distant possibility. The restraints binding her to the cot. The large burn across her back that twinged with the slightest movement against shirt or sheets. Most recently and pressingly, the beaker of holy water her left hand was submerged in.

Violet kept her eyes closed because there was nothing worth looking at. There was only the empty lab around her that she’d seen enough of. There was only the sight of her skin searing off her fingers. Her hands had rebelled the first time they’d tried this one, a flick of her fingers alone sending glass shattering against the wall.

They’d improved their experimental setup since then. Violet could do nothing as it burned, and burned, and burned.

The danger in closing her eyes, however, was the temptation of dreams. Of picturing herself elsewhere, free and not alone, surrounded by that werewolf pack she missed and the women she’d wanted. A petty and small desire, situated as she was, and that reminder was sufficient to drag herself back to reality.

The lab was quiet. She was alone. Like each of the past eight nights she’d spent here, it-

Her left hand was wrenched out of the beaker, a drop of holy water landing on her cheek with a sizzle.

Violet’s eyes flew open. She barely noted the strong grip around her wrist, or the two figures in the room with her - IGR scientists had their odd hours and whims - and twisted her head back to catch sight of the digital clock she knew lay behind her. 0400. Didn’t make any sense. Her mind raced. The last group in here had said they’d make this experiment an hour longer. Not to her, of course, but to each other. Maybe they’d changed the concentration instead? Or maybe this was a new game being played, confusing her with not solely physical stimuli but hidden lies too.

“Violet,” said a voice, unsettlingly warm in this cold place.

No, no. She’d crushed her phone when she’d realised it was too late, turned it into nothing more than uselessly sparking metal and plastic mangled together. No need for her mistake to offer up the others to the IGR. They had their ways of tracing people.

“Liu,” a different voice said, closer than the other one, ragged and relieved and suddenly recognizable, and when Violet whipped her head back around it wasn’t two IGR scientists in the room with her.

It was Arkady, her mouth twitching and her grip slipping away from Violet’s wrist, and it was Sana, at the doorway with a careful look directed down the hallway.

Her voice weak from disuse, Violet urgently spoke, “How did you-” 

“Later, Liu,” said Arkady, “do you know if freeing you will set off any alarms?”

“I don’t think so?” Violet shook her head. “They’ve moved me before.”

At Arkady’s questioning look, Violet added. “Other research.”

A low growl came from Arkady, a common prelude to her shifting, but Sana had come close enough to lay a hand on Arkady’s shoulder. Quieted, Arkady rocked back into the touch.

Violet’s gaze slid from them to her own bare wrist, the paper-thin memory of Arkady’s grip already beyond her grasp. An inappropriately timed pang of envy hit her.

“The hallway’s clear.” Sana stared Violet down, her jaw set in some unnameable emotion. “It’ll go quicker with the both of us.”

Arkady nodded sharply. The two of them made quick work of the restraints. Arkady scooped Violet up into her arms over Violet’s objections (“You’re even paler than you normally are for a vamp, and you’re literally shaking. Not up for debate.”). Violet lasted Arkady taking four steps before her eyelids became too heavy to lift again. Guilty comfort and safety found in the steady sway of those arms, consciousness finally escaped her.

. 

Violet woke with a start, sheets twisted around her as panic ran through her. One’s senses were a lot easier to pay attention to when they’d been dead to the world for a while. Her nose smelled wolf, and wolf meant threat or food. The former made her want to run; the latter sparked a hunger. 

“Hey,” said Sana from a chair next to the bed, and Violet remembered this wolf meant friend. Sana’s dark brown eyes looked weary. She continued, “You’re safe. This isn’t a room you’ve been in before, but you’re in the pack house. The IGR doesn’t like going into the Telemachus woods, and there’s been no sighting of them yet. That’s a good sign.”

Violet exhaled slowly. She did so to give herself time to think, not out of any real physiological need, and Sana was kind enough not to comment on it. Her burned hand brushed against the sheets, setting off a new thrum of pain to join the steady ones.

Used to Sana’s patterns of information disclosure, and perturbed by Arkady’s absence, Violet asked, “What’s the bad sign?”

“We haven’t been able to get in touch with Brian and Krejjh so far. Arkady has a few more tricks she’s trying.” Sana’s hands lay calmly on her own knees. “Also, she got shot on our way out.”

“What? D-”

“She’s okay.” Sana reached out a hand to press on the empty space of the bed between the edge and Violet. “Leg wound, bandaged, and once she shifts we think it’ll heal up within the day.” Sana’s eyes turned hard. “The guard that shot her won’t be spreading any tales. You should know what we’re working with.”

That seemed fair, for Violet to know what her rescue had cost them. Violet’s eyes wandered the room. True to Sana’s words, it looked like an ordinary bedroom. The lack of windows was strange. Violet wondered if they had to re-issue an invitation to cross the threshold with her, if they had never revoked it in the first place.

Sana’s gaze dropped to Violet’s burned hand, where more than one layer of flesh had burned away. “Is there anything we can do for that? I have to admit, we’re not nearly as well-versed in vampiric first-aid as you are with ours.”

“No, it’s fine.” Violet did some math in her head. This injury wasn’t particularly unusual. “The other times took a couple of days to heal. Though there were other factors at play.”

The sound of the chair screeching against the floor jarred Violet out of her thoughts. Now closer, her hand an inch away from Violet’s, Sana cautiously asked, “It’s not ideal that I have to ask this. Violet, do you know how long they had you?”

Easy question. “Nine days.”

“We started looking five days ago.” Sana let out a heavy breath.

“That makes sense,” Violet acknowledged. “Your contact at the hospital must have let you know I didn’t make the blood bag pickup. Five days to track down an IGR lab is...really impressive.”

Sana made a sound of amusement. “Arkady thought you’d say something like that.”

“Really?”

“Something about how we shouldn’t”-Sana dropped her voice with faux-gruffness to it-” ‘live down to Liu’s incredibly low standards’, was how she put it. In any case, once we broke into your building, picking up your scent trail wasn’t too difficult.”

Violet’s heightened sense of smell wasn’t nearly as individualized. She couldn’t distinguish between specific people like werewolves could, only broad categories. Other vampires. Animals. Humans. Werewolves.

“Hey,” said Arkady from the doorway, “ _I_ broke into Liu’s building. The rest of you followed me in.”

Sana raised an eyebrow, as if she shared Violet’s uncertainty if it was blame or credit Arkady was claiming. An instinctive laugh died in Violet’s throat as the overwhelming scent of fresh blood filled her nostrils.

Violet hissed. She kept her gaze on Sana, resisting the temptation to otherwise shift it. “You need to leave.”

“Okay,” started Sana, “I-”

“Not you. I mean, Arkady, she has to”-Violet’s fingers dug into the mattress she sat on-”She needs to be very far away from me.”

“Did that lab do something to your memory?” Arkady sounded half-joking, half-worried, sliding towards the latter. “I did kind of help rescue you, remember?”

“Your leg,” rasped Violet. Idiot, how could Violet have forgotten to account for that? Arkady had been injured worse around her and Violet’s nose had never so much as twitched, but now there was a craving beaten only by the one that had haunted her as a freshly-sired vampire.

Sana’s graze grew serious. Good, at least one of them understood. As calmly as she could muster, Violet said, “I haven’t fed in six days.”

They’d started reducing her intake on the second day, but that seemed like less relevant information.

“The shitheads,” swore Arkady, and Violet’s eardrums quivered with how much faster they heard Arkady’s heartbeat race, all her senses focused on that singular source of hope that was so, so close. “Sana, we don’t have any blood bags.”

“I know,” said Sana firmly. Her head turned to the doorway. “Keep your distance from the room? Do a sweep of the woods if you think that’s the right call.”

“Violet would never hurt us,” scoffed Arkady.

“Would you force her to prove it?” Sana strode from her seat to the doorway, and Violet stared at the empty chair left behind. There was an urgent exchange of whispers that Violet might have been able to parse if she tried, but it was taking all of her attention to pretend there wasn’t blood dripping out of a live person anywhere near her.

The whispers were terminated by a brief kiss. Ungrateful loneliness took its place in Violet’s chest, a different sort of hunger making itself known.

That delicious bloody scent traveled further away. Further and further, until Violet could smell it no longer. Exhausted, she collapsed back against the headboard. Sana’s footsteps came closer. Violet couldn’t help but wonder how this wolf’s blood must smell. Must taste. 

Past her wooziness, Violet forced out. “Thank you for that.”

“Violet,” said Sana sternly, and a spike of useless guilt ran through Violet at letting them know the danger so late, “What are the consequences of you not feeding this long? Everything you can think of.”

Violet rapidly blinked. “Lack of energy. As you saw, less self-control around open wounds. It’ll take longer for the burns to heal. It took longer, the less they fed me.”

“Burns?” asked Sana quietly, emphasizing the ‘s’.

Violet winced. “They were running experiments. It wasn’t purposeless.” It felt unexpectedly crucial that Sana understood that, that there’d been logic behind what she’d seen. Uncaring logic, but still logic.

“Drink from me,” said Sana, her tone light.

“What?” Violet must have misheard. She squinted at Sana’s decisive-looking expression.

“You need to feed. I’m offering.”

“Uh, I can’t exactly die from this,” Violet pointed out, “I already did that. It’s fine, I can hold off till I go home.”

“Your home isn’t safe.” Sana frowned. “They were there before we were, the place was ransacked. I’m sorry Violet, but the fridge was empty.”

Violet would deal with that loss later, the loss of the only home she’d had as a vampire. “Till nightfall then. Animal blood doesn’t work long-term, but if you and Arkady can keep an eye on me-”

“You’re in no state to hunt.” A true statement.

“We can’t guarantee your safety here,” continued Sana, “We think they haven’t tracked us, but with no way to communicate with Brian and Krejjh...you shouldn’t be defenseless.”

“I don’t want to leave you defenseless,” Violet replied, disbelieving.

“I’ve done my share of blood donations,” said Sana wryly. “Werewolf constitution has something going for it.”

“That’s not”-Violet was starting to lose the thread of the conversation, the days catching up to her. She dropped her head in her hands.

“Do you trust me?” asked Sana.

Weakly, Violet said, “I think in this scenario, I should be asking you that question.”

No reply. When Violet lifted her head, she found Sana’ gaze pinning her. Not unkindly, but not relenting either. Violet supposed that when you had been around Arkady for as long as Sana had, you were used to waiting out meager attempts at avoiding a question.

Violet worried one of her fangs with her tongue, sliding against the gumline as if cleansing the bone would neaten this situation any. “Of course I trust you. All of you. This isn’t even the first time you’ve saved me, and I’m not even a member of your pack.”

“Violet, you…” Sana paused, seemingly discarding her initial response to continue. “Good. Then believe me when I say that I trust you. You’ve helped us plenty. You can do this.”

“Okay.” Violet gave a slight nod.

Sana’s gaze swept the room, and Violet followed it, noticing the bedroom door was shut. It landed back on Violet. Sana asked, her voice quieter, “Would it be easier if I shifted?”

“Yes,” said Violet reflexively.

“Give me a moment,” said Sana, lightly tugging the hem of her shirt, “I kind of like this shirt.”

Violet averted her gaze, sheets clenched in tight fists, absurdly grateful that the loss of her life had meant the loss of any ability to blush. Merciful seconds of rustling clothes later, she heard the rumble she was waiting for.

A wolf padded up to Violet. Sana’s wolf form looked as Violet remembered. _Obviously. It’s been a little over a week, no matter how long it felt for you, Vi._ The thick grey fur that covered Sana gave way to tawny brown along the snout and around the eyes, and to white on the paws and underbelly.

Shame overtook Violet as she reached a hand out. Sana sniffed it, her snout bumping against Violet’s knuckles. She hadn’t asked Sana to shift because any of the pack were less real to her as wolves. It was because, Jesus, she could not have done this if it had meant looking at the very human understanding on Sana’s face before sinking her fangs in, vampire instincts or no vampire instincts.

As if she’d read her mind, Sana leaped onto the bed and nudged Violet’s arms out of the way to lay her head in Violet’s lap, baring her neck like an offering. Gold eyes stared back at Violet. Sana wasn’t backing out.

Violet couldn’t back out either. Her mouth descended. There was that brief second of uncertainty before her lips brushed fur and pure instinct took over. A hand on Sana’s back, another fisted in the sheets and two sharp fangs driven into flesh, the first spurts of blood in her mouth begged her to go deeper. She did, Sana shuddering beneath her.

She pulled back. Two bright red spots where grey fur met white on Sana’s neck called to her. As did those unyielding golden eyes, neck still bared, no attempt to wriggle out of this. Violet sucked her fangs clean. Oh. Oh, she understood now, why the smell of wolf blood stood out to her, an eons-long rivalry boiled down to a simple primal truth.

Wolf blood tasted better than any blood she’d had before. Violet descended again, this time drinking in from the openings she’d created. The blood was hot in her mouth. It didn’t taste good the way a cheap sugar rush might to a human. No, it was something more savory than that. Something that sustained her, animated her, compelled her to have more as she felt the wolf’s strength become her own.

Her hands stopped trembling. Violet pulled the wolf closer to her, swallowing her winnings greedily, mourning the drops of blood that escaped her mouth, a waste. She was nourished even by the slackening of the wolf’s body in her hands. How could she have never drunk a werewolf’s blood before? The thought seemed ridiculous to her.

So lost was she in her meal that it was a surprise when the wolf twisted and changed shape in her arms, and the fur her mouth pressed against gave way to human flesh. Violet moved with her meal, shifting them both so that the wolf was underneath her. That felt like a miracle all on its own after so many days with her hands bound and commanded not by her. A lick confirmed that the wolf’s blood was no less appetizing in human form, and so Violet continued to blindly suck from the still-present wounds. Her hands found a better hold.

The wolf’s hands strayed into Violet’s hair. No yank followed. It simply moved with Violet’s head. Close as they were, hot breaths skimmed Violet’s neck. The wolf’s lips briefly closed the gap to press against Violet’s skin, an odd, ineffective mirror that Violet luxuriated in.

The breath traveled up to Violet’s ear. The wolf panted, “Violet.”

The wolf’s hollow voice became stronger, as firm as it ever was when acting as pack leader. “Violet, that’s enough.”

_Sana_.

Violet jerked her mouth back. She felt Sana lay what had to be a blood-loss-addled kiss on the top of her head, and jerked back farther. Horror took precedence at the sight of what she had done. 

Sana’s bloodied neck. Sana’s bloodied _human_ neck attached to her very human, very naked body. Sana caught her gaze, her words getting slurred. “You stopped. Well done.”

Violet’s hand pulled away from Sana like it burned. It had somehow shifted to meet the curve of Sana’s ribcage, a thumb splayed. Her limbs filled with energy, she scrambled off Sana. Her feet got tangled in the sheets, and Violet fell off the bed with a thump.

Sana sat up. “Violet-”

Then the door burst open.

A terrifying growl filled the room, and a second later, a black wolf stood on the bed in front of Sana. With uniform fur that was thinner than Sana’s but more muscle underneath, Arkady bared her teeth.

Violet had imagined Arkady and Sana in and out of their wolf forms more than ideal during her captivity. She hadn’t thought that this was how she’d see Arkady’s again. Arkady snarled protectively. Behind her, a hazy-eyed Sana made stumbling nudity look regal as she balanced herself with a comfortable hand in Arkady’s coat.

There was one problem she could solve for them, Violet thought, her veins singing with the relief of a satisfying feed.

“Thank you. I’m sorry,” said Violet quickly.

She leapt for the doorway, fleeing through it and the next, until she’d launched herself into the dawn-lit forest, her lips painted in Sana’s blood.

. 

A year ago, Violet hadn’t been a vampire.

She’d been a post-doc.

In a different town, too. It had been research she mostly liked, with people who mostly seemed to like her.

There had been a party. She had left the party with that cute girl she’d finally gotten around to speaking to, after one too many parties where she’d seen the girl and said nothing. Violet’s memories of the walk through the dim-lit streets were cloudy, tinged with inebriation and regret. Perhaps they had discussed that one folklore seminar they had both happened to attend. Perhaps Violet, her cheeks flushed with alcohol, had argued a point particularly vehemently, and then gotten embarrassed at herself.

Violet had believed the girl’s line that the alley was a shortcut to her apartment. Violet hadn’t expected the playful glint in her eyes and the tug of her fingers in Violet’s to give way to a smile with too sharp teeth, a muttered “I can’t wait”, and fangs sunk into Violet’s neck.

Violet’s legs had buckled and yet she had struggled anyway. Uselessly. She had given the vampire’s shin a particularly hard kick that hadn’t moved the leg at all, only made the vampire laugh a bloody laugh. “You’re a fighter. I hadn’t expected that.”

Over Violet’s whimpers, the vampire had tilted her head. “I usually go for blondes. But you could be interesting. We’ll see if you make it through the night.”

When the fangs had returned to Violet’s neck, it had almost felt like blood was flowing into Violet’s neck instead of the other way around. After that, all Violet remembered of the last moments of her human life was a burning pain in her veins, a kind that made her want to scream, only no sound would leave her lungs.

She had awoken from her rebirth in the Telemachus woods.

She sped through those same woods now. Early morning sunlight fell in patches across the grass. It would be a few more hours till the sun was a real danger to her. An hour at midday with no cover would be the end of her. This trip might tickle her skin, and Violet was well-used to maneuvering around the day’s dangers.

She slumped herself onto a tree stump in a particularly dense section of the woods. Even here, she could not escape the light, not completely.But the wolves deserved some distance from her, and Violet needed to think.

She didn’t know how to fix this.

She had managed to fix being left alone newly-sired, determining through experimentation the limits and abilities of her second life. She had managed to fix the first time she made a mistake of hunting within werewolf territory, offering to help Sana’s pack in exchange for regular blood-bag pickups. She had even thought she limited the effects of her capture.

Yet this, this new rip she’d torn between her and the pack-who was she kidding, this rip she’d wrought between her and those two women, unavoidably tainted by her feelings for them? She didn’t see a way out of this one.

The smell of wolf caught her nose. It was Arkady, still in wolf form, slipping between the trees towards her. Arkady had supply bags tied to her sides. A planned trip, not a continuation of earlier. Violet made no move to get away as Arkady slowly padded up to her.

Violet was no fool. She knew it was Arkady’s response that concerned her far more than Sana’s. That was rub, the fundamental truth at the heart of this decision made and sight witnessed. If Violet had drained Arkady till only a drop of blood was left in her, Arkady would have gotten past that a thousand times quicker than Violet’s fangs so much as skimming Sana’s skin.

Before today, Arkady must have thought Violet understood that. 

Arkady’s amber eyes stared up at Violet even as she rested her chin on Violet’s lap. She whined, her ears flattening back. The same kind of whine that happened when Violet had patched her up in wolf form, unhappy over her injuries. Not a sound that meant Arkady was angry, but that she was sorry.

Violet scratched Arkady behind the ears. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. That’s not why I ran.”

The whine turned into a content growl. They sat like that for a few minutes. Finally, Arkady pulled back, gently butting Violet’s knees as she did so.

She trotted away into the forest, and Violet was surprised when Arkady returned in human form, dressed in a tank top and shorts with the bags slung over her shoulder.

“Why did you shift back?” asked Violet, “Your leg-“

“-is fine,” said Arkady. She crossed her arms, her biceps now distractingly flexed. “Something tells me you weren’t going to follow me back to the house without some convincing.”

“You want me to come back?”

“Uh, yeah? If you stay out here, you’re going to turn out worse than Krejjh’s attempts at toast,” said Arkady, her tone incredulous. “Seriously, let’s go.”

“After what I did, you can’t possibly want me anywhere near her,” said Violet. “She’s your”- _Girlfriend? Pack leader?_ With Arkady, it was hard to say which mattered more-“Sana,” was what Violet settled on.

“Well yeah, Liu.” Arkady gave her a look like Violet was being stupid. “She’s your Sana too.”

Violet swallowed down a host of feelings that threatened to show. Arkady was merely making a snarky point about how names worked.

She said, “It doesn’t have to be the pack house I hide in. I can-”

“Your home isn’t safe.” Arkady stepped close, arms uncrossing. Her hand reached out for a second before she pulled it back. Touch was so much easier when Arkady was a wolf or had an injury for Violet to take care of, and Violet resented herself for wanting more than that.

“I’ve been told,” gritted out Violet. She stood, and quietly asked, “Do you know how much I drank from her?”

Violet raised her left hand to between their gazes. It was perfectly whole, as if it had never been touched. No trace of the hours it had burned. 

“Werewolves have to wait.” Violet flicked her gaze down to Arkady’s bandaged leg and back up to her own hand. “We just have to drink.”

Arkady growled, “you’re being very dramatic.”

“I’m being dramatic? I’m-“

“Sana made her choice.” Arkady’s hands gripped her shoulders, warm against Violet’s cold skin. “Don’t make it pointless.”

Violet stared into Arkady’s dark eyes, felt the huff of breath that had left Arkady with those last few words. For the second time that day, Violet gave into her worst instincts. She tugged Arkady closer by the front of her tank top, and captured her lips with her own. It took far longer than Violet expected for Arkady to end the kiss, a stunned expression on Arkady’s face.

“Another reason,” said Violet, “that it’s objectively a bad idea for me to return.”

“The hell,” Arkady sputtered, “you can’t-you can’t kiss me like that and then tell me to be goddamn objective. That’s not how this works!”

The two of them hurriedly let go of each other. Violet’s shoulders curled inwards. “I know I shouldn’t have-”

“Look,” interrupted Arkady, her face contorting through several inscrutable expressions before landing on resolved. “I promise you, we can talk about absolutely anything you want, once we’re back in the house.”

“I told you that isn’t happening.”

“Violet, please,” pleaded Arkady. She looked very tired, and Violet wondered how long a night she must have had. Arkady’s voice turned strained. “I know you’re fed so you have your vampiric shit back or whatever but-it’s been kind of an awful week. I really, really don’t want them hurting you again. None of us do.”

Seeing Arkady scared was its own type of scary, Violet thought. After all they’d done for her, the least Violet could do was face the music. “Fine. I’ll return with you.”

They walked through the woods together, the journey silent. Violet didn’t mind. She had a lot of words to string together for later. As the house came into sight, Arkady swore, “Shit, I was supposed to tell you, I forgot because-anyway. Brian and Krejjh got in touch. They decided since they had the bike, they’d send the IGR on a wild goose chase. It’ll be awhile before they’re back.”

The long-suffering tone with which Arkady relayed the news suggested that while it wasn’t in the plan, Arkady did begrudgingly think it was a good idea.

Sana opened the door before Violet could even knock. Their scent must have given away their approach, and Violet tried not to consider what else it could. Thankfully, Sana was dressed, though Violet didn’t miss the white bandage on her neck that peeked out past her hair.

“Violet, good to see you.” The picture of innocence, Sana asked, “Did you have a good talk?”

“Yeah, great talk,” said Arkady, as they entered the house. “We established that sitting in sunlight is really stupid if you’re a vampire and that I’m not about to go all murder wolf on Liu.”

Violet scowled. “I told you I didn’t think that.”

Arkady shrugged, and Sana’s expression grew amused. She handed Violet a folded set of clothes. “Shower first. Then we’ll talk.”

Violet took the escape opportunity. She made a beeline for the bathroom, the house’s layout familiar.

She peeled off her worn clothes. Violet glanced at the bathroom mirror, foolishly struck dumb by the absence of her reflection. She had discarded every mirror in her own home instead of retraining her instincts. Violet ran her hands over herself. She twisted her arm to lay the back of her hand against her back. She pressed a palm against her cheek where the drop of holy water had fell. Nothing but unbroken skin.

Blood had fixed her body up entirely, like nothing unusual had occurred in these last week. If only it could do the same for her brain.

With a careful last movement, she brushed her thumb against her lips, and felt the dried blood. She froze. Sana’s blood must be obvious on her face. She had talked to Arkady and Sana with said blood on her lips.

She had kissed Arkady with said blood on her lips.

Violet showered quickly and efficiently. Most importantly, she scrubbed off any trace of Sana’s blood or the IGR from her body, one an easier task than the other. The relief of putting on clean clothes was hardly dampened by the need to roll up the sweatpant legs so she wouldn’t trip on them. She didn’t drown as much in the T-shirt. She recognized it as one of Arkady’s, the graphic long-faded with now unreadable text.

Before Violet could overthink it, she emerged from the bathroom.

Only Sana remained in the living room. Her smile turned sheepish as Violet approached. “I should have grabbed a pair of Arkady’s pants too.”

“It wouldn’t make much of a difference.” Violet sat on the opposite end of the couch from Sana. The sweatpants must be Sana’s. That made sense, them lending her their clothes. It’s not like they would have a “Violet got herself kidnapped by the IGR” supply of spare clothes lying around. 

Violet made herself look at Sana’s neck, the white bandage a sharp contrast to her neck and hair. Perhaps chronological order was the most sensible way to handle this. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to your offer without being sure I could control myself. That was a mistake, and it won’t happen again.”

It was easier that Violet had thought it would be, falling back on how she’d talked when her alliance with the pack had been more tentative. Clear formal tone, laying out what she could accomplish with an objective assessment of the situation. Violet could do that much.

Sana ruined that by scooting closer to Violet, gently knocking Violet’s knees with her own. “Can you look at me?”

Violet looked. She found a warm, tired smile, and bright eyes focused on her own.

“You didn’t lose control,” said Sana.

Kindness or forgiveness was one thing, but rewriting reality wasn’t something Violet would stand for. Not anymore. “Sana-”

“You didn’t. You stopped when I asked you to stop.” Sana’s smile widened. “I’m proud of you, especially since you were feeding from a werewolf.”

Violet’s eyebrows went up.

“I thought you knew about that. I would have told you,” said Sana. “Sometimes it’s hard to remember, in the face of your persistence, that you’ve been at this for far fewer years than the rest of us.”

It would be nice to believe Sana. There were so many things about the world it would be nice to believe in. None of them mattered in face of the truth.

“You shifted back,” said Violet. Her voice grew small at the memory. “When I kept drinking, you shifted back.”

“Violet, no. That wasn’t a reflex. Remember, when we’re driven by instinct, we go to the wolf, not the other way around.”

“Huh,” said Violet intelligently.

“I thought it would help to hear my voice,” said Sana softly.

“It did,” admitted Violet, “It really did. I missed hearing it-uh, I mean, I missed hearing all your voices.”

That was true too, in its own way. Suddenly all the conversations she’d forced herself to pay attention to while held at the IGR lab came crashing into her head. Dispassionate observations and discussions and debates about her.

Violet’s hands started trembling. Wasn’t that the silliest thing? Panicking when there was no danger present, and her body was whole and fixed, and she still owed Sana another truth? _Get it together, Vi._

Calloused hands stilled Violet’s own. “Well,” said Sana, “you’re going to keep hearing us.”

“Wow,” said Arkady, balancing three mugs as she entered the living room, “I leave for a minute and it’s hand-holding-o-mania over here?”

Her tone teasing, Sana said, “Your lack of interest is duly noted, Kady.”

“I didn’t say that,” said Arkady churlishly. She set two of the mugs on the table. Instead of taking the empty spot next to Sana, she set herself on the couch arm next to Violet. “It’s tea. Made Liu’s stronger.”

Food and drink didn’t nourish Violet, but other than her sense of taste being dulled, they didn’t hurt, either. Violet picked up the mug and took a cautious sip. Mint.

No point dragging this out. Violet said, “I kissed Arkady today, in the woods.”

“Ah, yes, Arkady mentioned that,” said Sana, as if Violet had merely let her know she could only come by the house on Saturdays, not Fridays.

Violet kept going with the words bouncing around her head, “And who knows! I probably took liberties while feeding off Sana, I-“

“-Took liberties!” cackled Arkady.

“Let her finish,” said Sana, giving Arkady a look over Violet’s head.

“The point is,” said Violet, “I know that you rescued me, but you really don’t have to be nice to me about those things. It’s okay. Once it’s safe, I can get out of here.”

“Liu,” said Arkady, “for someone really smart, you can be incredibly stupid sometimes.”

Violet let out a short, bitter sigh. “I know.”

“Arkady-” tried Sana.

“No, come on!” Arkady gestured with her mug, the tea sloshing dangerously within it. “I kissed you back, and Sana clearly isn’t mad about that. Before you took that shower, I could smell Sana all over you, and I haven’t been mouthing off about that either.

“You’re the scientist, Liu. What do you think that data means?” finished Arkady, a flicker of-of something in her eyes, something Violet couldn’t quite name but swore she’d seen before.

Violet’s eyes ping-ponged from Arkady to Sana. The latter had a resigned yet relieved look on her face. Something clicked. Sana’s behaviour while Violet had fed from her. The relative calmness with which Arkady had handled that unexpected kiss. 

Violet stammered, “What? No. No. Noooo. But you two are-you really-both of you? Me?”

They nodded. 

“Well,” exhaled Violet sharply. She took another sip of tea. “This has been a day.”

“It has,” said Sana kindly, “and I’m afraid this conversation’s going a bit out of order. Violet, do you have anywhere else that’s safe to stay in long-term?”

Thrown by the change in topic, Violet said, “No. I’m going to have to find a different abandoned building.” Her shoulders sunk. “I liked my old abandoned building.”

“Vampires,” muttered Arkady, “Sana?”

“We have more bedrooms than people,” said Sana. “You’re welcome to stay with us. Permanently. Everyone agreed.”

“Really?” asked Violet.

“Can you imagine Tripathi not putting it to a vote?” commented Arkady, “She loves putting things to votes.”

“Then yes,” said Violet, feeling safer than she had in a long time, “I’d like that.”

“Good,” said Sana, “The point is-“

“Goddammit,” said Arkady, “I see what’s coming-“

“-that offer doesn’t come with any expectation of you reciprocating our feelings,” said Sana earnestly. “You’re still a part of this regardless.”

“Sana, you didn’t see the way Liu kissed me in the woods. I really don’t think reciprocation is going to be an issue here,” snarked Arkady. She looked and sounded far too smug. 

“Arkady has a point.” Violet set her mug back down on the table. Resolved, she turned to face Sana.

“Does she now?” asked Sana. She looked uncannily steady. Almost any response from Violet would be met with equanimity.

“Can I kiss you?” Violet took some small pleasure in the way Sana’s eyes widened, the way they briefly dropped to Violet’s lips, and the slight nod along with which Sana said, “Yes.”

So Violet did. They took their time, Sana’s warm hand curling around Violet’s neck, Violet’s cold hand laying on Sana’s shirt-clad shoulder. When it ended, a strange sense of calm washed over Violet. “Does that resolve your concerns?”

“It has.” Sana’s eyes crinkled as she smiled.

Arkady whistled. “Well played, Liu.”

Violet turned back to narrow her eyes at her. “You should sit on the couch. That can’t be good for your leg.”

“I’m sitting, aren’t I?” grumbled Arkady, but she still shifted onto the couch proper once Violet and Sana made space for her. “Also, now that we’re done with the feelings corner, I get to point out that it makes way more sense to drink from the person who’s already got blood coming out of her.”

“No,” said Violet and Sana in unison.

“Ugh.” Arkady slumped against Violet’s side, pushing her against Sana who somehow managed to stay seated upright, a fond expression on her face.

Impossibly warm, free, and _here_ , Violet laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to eggshrimproll for the beta, any remaining mistakes are entirely my own. Credit to caracalliope for discussing wonderfully iddy vampire-werewolf ideas with me.
> 
> As always, I'm jaggedwolf on tumblr and dreamwidth, where Starship Iris is still very much on my mind.


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